Looking for myself

Apologies if it seems like I've neglected this Sphere. I've been pretty busy, well, life and death got in the way with my melancholy mood swings...

This year, I've encountered many deaths (in my book) which affected me in some, if not all, way or another. A few friends had passed on due to ill-health. An acquaintance has passed away due to a disaster at home. Most recently, my maternal grandmother due to old age.

Each time a death occur, it somehow affects me mentally. It sure makes me feel older, more stress, more aware that life is truly short... not forgetting that I am blessed with a beautiful family so not to think negatively much. Honestly, negativity seems to rise easily whereas positive thoughts seemed to be far away.

My inner mind keeps straying to the dark side, so to speak. I hate it when I keep thinking of those thoughts. I'm blaming it on my pre-menopausal syndrome and mood swings. At times, it's hard not to think negatively and I would want to react and judge which is so wrong. There are more but I can't think straight now so better to stop here than continue..........

I have to always remind myself to:

Be grateful and be humble.
Do what feels RIGHT.
Let it go..............